by Eight Thirty Seven
Until Sunday Night I was convinced I had seen it all on social media. We’ve witnessed countless breakdowns and just about every emotion imaginable from all sorts of athletes, celebrities, and entertainers that I thought I had seen it all. Well, I was wrong. While checking out the end of the Sunday Night Football game between the Cowboys and Saints, I checked into my usual half-asleep torment of the Twitterverse, only to see that right away I had been outdone by the operator of the league’s social networking and posted the above gem. As a writer, of course this pisses me off because I didn’t know “Drink, mash keypad” were the only directions that the social media operator from the country’s most popular sport needed to follow to keep that gig. To further complicate matters, they didn’t even take the tweet down – it’s still up. On the field, there are going to be some great games this week. Others not so much, but either way let’s break it down and take a look at what we think will happen in week five of the NFL season.
Bye Weeks: Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New York Jets, Carolina Panthers
837’s brief comments on all of the bye week teams
The Dolphins just fired their coach and their 2015 situation is pretty much irreparable, the Vikings are decent and probably better than we think but it doesn’t matter, the Jets are still overrated and the Carolina Panthers might be 4-0 but trust me they are full of shit. More news on this as it develops.
Dubsism: I referred to last week as the “Week of the Landmine.” The bankroll stepped on one of those landmines, but survived…kind of like that Afghani kid who gets a foot blown off, but doesn’t stop picking up shell casings. Yeah, so what if that joke isn’t “politically correct?” Write your fucking Congressman. We’re here to talk gambling, and if I can win enough, I can help buy the kid a new foot. Feel better now, asshole?
That’s why I need to have a better week this week. After all the landmine carnage, survival meant clearing a net profit of 20 bucks, bringing the bankroll for the season to $3,136.50. Feet aren’t cheap, and the fine folks in Vegas aren’t really helping with this week’s lines.
by Ryan Meehan
The bio from the best Twitter account you probably aren’t familiar with simply reads “Very unlikable. My mother is dead and my dreams aren’t far behind”. The bio belongs to Taylor De La Ossa, a comic who hails from the Lansing area of Michigan. Taylor’s dark subject matter makes for an excellent juxtaposition to her friendly on-stage persona, and she’s progressed very quickly during her short time doing stand-up. If you’re familiar with her work, you’ll know exactly why some random asshole that lives hundreds of miles away would spend the time to initiate this discussion. If you’re not, you’ll soon find out why I am honored to introduce you to Taylor De La Ossa in today’s artist profile. Continue reading
Posted in 10 Questions, Artist Profile, Comedy
Tagged Andrew Dice Clay, Beer Hall Putsch, Brandon Bonebrake, Comedy Night at the Green Door, Dan Currie, Doug Stanhope, George Carlin, Grand Rapids, Grand Rapids Comedy Scene, Jacqui Marpa, Jason Carlen, Jen Dama, Kurt Braunohler, Lansing, Louie's Trophy House, Mac's Bar, Mark Roebuck, Mel Brooks, Michigan Comics Network, Monty Python, Pat Sievert, Robert Jenkins, Rupert's Brew House, Taylor De La Ossa, Tip Top, Tom Gannon, Tripper's Comedy Club, Twitter
by Ryan Meehan
Evictions, hooded masks, secret passwords, basement bootleg tiki bars, fire axes, superstar rappers…These spectacles—some planned, some not—were all part of the live shows that Nashville’s Five Knives played throughout their hometown upon forming in 2012. “Our second show we played a rooftop and set off the smoke alarms. When the fire department turned up with axes during the set everyone thought they were part of the show,” says programmer Nathan Barlowe. “We had our masks on; they had their masks on, they had their axes and people thought they were part of some kind of weird rave. It wasn’t hard for us to book shows after that”. Even though there are two resident programmers and producers in Five Knives, the band sought an outsider’s guidance and opted for producer Mark Needham (The Killers, Imagine Dragons) for their new album “Savages”. As the songs were nearly complete by the time they got to Needham’s studio, his experienced hand proved the perfect finishing touch. “He let us do our thing, and made it sound bigger and better,” says multi-instrumentalist Nathan Barlowe. “Mark’s a sound sculptor, and we were able to collaborate together to breathe even more life into the music.” The result is 13 tracks of bombastic, heart-skipping density, raw power, and laser-honed electric bursts. We are delighted to have vocalist Anna M’Queen as our guest today in 10 questions. Continue reading
Posted in 10 Questions, Music
Tagged American Ultra, Anna M'Queen, Depeche Mode, Five Knives, Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Needham, Nashville, Personal Jesus, Ratatat, Red Bull Records, Savages
by Ryan Meehan
Daniel White Kamihira – Star of “The Magician” at the Nomad Hotel in NYC and Discovery Channel’s “The Supernaturalist”, the HP Envy X2 Television Commercial, and Travel Channel’s “White Magic” has been performing magic since the age of ten. Creator, performer, teacher, consultant, and producer, Daniel has excelled in all fields of his art. As a performing magician and magic consultant, Dan White has mystified audiences across the globe. A native of Philadelphia, he has created and starred in two of his own TV shows as well as creating and producing magic on television, in the movies, and on stage for the world’s most famous magicians and entertainers. Dan has also been the featured entertainment at many of the world’s premier events. A few of which include: Diddy’s White party, The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show at the Fountainbleu, The Hamptons Social, The I HEART RADIO music festival, The Kardashian Christmas Party, The Sundance Film Festival, HP’s 2012 Discover Event, The Yeezus Tour, and a plethora of other celebrity events. Dan has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The New York Post, and Vanity Fair, and most recently paid a visit to The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to showcase his amazing abilities. We are very excited to have Dan as our guest today in 10 questions. Continue reading
Posted in 10 Questions
Tagged Comedy, Dan White, Daniel White Kamihira, Diddy’s White party, Fountainbleu, Magic, Nomad Hotel, The Hamptons Social, The I HEART RADIO music festival, The Kardashian Christmas Party, The Magician, The New York Post, The New York Times, The Sundance Film Festival, The Supernaturalist, The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, The Wall Street Journal, The Yeezus Tour, White Magic
by Eight Thirty Seven with assistance from Dubsism and Jason from Indiana
The fourth week of the NFL season is here, and although it’s still early on we are starting to see the true colors of a lot of the teams in the league. Some are perennial early bloomers that will fade out as the season moves closer to the new year, and some are legitimate and here to stay. Some teams that are 1-2 are still in great shape, either because they play in awful divisions or because they simply haven’t played up to their own capabilities. And in some cases such as the AFC South, we really have no idea what’s truly going on. But we sure as hell can speculate, and isn’t that what makes this so much fun? This is what we think will take place in the last week of the first full month of the NFL schedule.
J-Dub Gambling Challenge
If Week 2 was the “Pay For Knowledge” weekend, then Week Three is when those dividends started rolling in. Week Three saw the J-Dub bankroll get back to positive territory by a pretty wide margin. For the week, the bankroll took those dividends to show a net profit of $841.50, which brings the season’s bankroll total to $3,116.50.
While that sounds all well and good, the problem is that Week 4 is looking like it could be the “Week of the Landmine.” Just look at some of these lines, and you’ll see why the J-Dub Gambling Challenge is going on “Operation Lightfoot” this week. I don’t mean Gordon Lightfoot, either, even though I have a bad feeling betting this week could be less like “Carefree Highway” and more “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”
Since I can’t make all of these Dogs of the Week…