by Ryan Meehan

Week one starts off with a bang on Thursday night, as the defending Super Bowl Champions New Orleans Saints host the Minnesota Vikings in a rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game.

If you haven’t read the newest issue of Sports Illustrated, check out Peter King’s predictions for a good laugh.  Peter King is usually an excellent writer, but for some reason he has the Steelers winning the Super Bowl.  Yeah…I know, right?  Some of his other gems in that piece?  He’s got the Panthers finishing 10-6, and winning the tiebreaker over the Eagles AND the Vikings who he believes will have the same record.  (…)  I’d be shocked to find the Panthers over .500.  But then again, this is the same guy who doesn’t even have Baltimore winning the AFC North.

Meehan’s week one picks:

THURDSAY:    New Orleans Saints 34, Minnesota Vikings 24

Saints get their rings, Favre throws a pick, AP puts the ball on the ground, and at the end of the night to much fun stuff going on for the Saints to not take it to the house.

SUNDAY:    Cleveland Browns 12, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 11 or something

Nobody gives a shit.  “Everybody’s undefeated” (although mathematically correct) doesn’t guarantee you credibility.  If you play like you’re in high school, nobody is going to watch the game like high school.

New York Giants 24,  Carolina Panthers 16

Yes I am picking the Giants in this one.  A homer pick no doubt, but I’m not buying the Panthers to do much of anything.

Miami Dolphins 27, Buffalo Bills 6

Buffalo is the least interesting thing going on in pro football.  Trent Edwards had been given MORE than enough time to develop in that “system” they run up there.

Pittsburgh Steelers 20, Atlanta Falcons 13

Atlanta’s overrated with an average defense and I can’t see Pittsburgh losing a home opener.  Plus the Falcons are always jacked up about something for no or little reason.  The guy had one good year (Matt Ryan).  He had one awful year too.

New England Patriots 26, Cincinnati Bengals 23

The way the Bengals looked the last two times they showed their faces last season, it’s hard to believe they can beat a team like the Patriots in week one.  This may seem like a homer pick as well since Koz is a Pats fan, but the Bengals didn’t show me shit in the playoffs last year so they lose on a last second field goal.  I did have a set of picks where Cincy gets absolutely crushed in this game.

Chicago Bears 23, Detroit Lions 10

See Bears fans…you’ll win a few games this year.  Just not many.  If Jay Cutler was any more of a douche bag, the liquid would become a gas.

Indianapolis Colts 31, Houston Texans 22

Houston will start rough but get better.  They just better get that way really quick so they don’t have to fight for a wild card spot at the end of the season.  Indy remains sharp.

Jacksonville Jaguars 10, Denver Broncos 9

Garth Brooks was actually my favorite country singer at one point.  I thought that “The Thunder Rolls” song was pretty cool for as hillbilly as it sounded.

Oakland Raiders 21, Tennessee Titans 20

Yes I’m picking Oakland in this one.  Barely and only barely because the Titans are at home.  The Raiders will be MUCH better this year, trust me.  Oakland against anyone on Tennessee’s level shouldn’t be consdered an upset pick this year.

Arizona Cardinals 26, St. Louis Rams 13

Bradford has a rough start and gets picked twice.  Arizona begins the era of not having Anquan Boldin and finding out what life is like without him AND Larry Fitzgerald is hurt.  So have fun with that.

Green Bay Packers 35, Philadelphia Eagles 24

Green Bay might be the best team that you can only name five or so players from.  But they have one of the toughest QBs in the league that is still approaching his prime.  The Eagles will still have a strong showing in this game.

San Francisco 49ers 32, Seattle Seahawks 17

Remember when Seattle was almost unbeatable at home?  It seems like forever ago the way they’ve played the last couple of years.  San Francisco should be much imporved and has been picked by virtually every writer in America they better be otherwise people are going to be pissed.  People that gamble a lot are going to be REALLY pissed.

SUNDAY NIGHT:  Dallas Cowboys 31, Washington Redskins 9

Lots of hype for what I expect to be a pretty boring prime time game.

MONDAY NIGHT:  San Diego Chargers 33, Kansas City Chiefs 20

It’s the regular season so San Diego will win.  I bet the Chiefs are great at fantasy football.  They know who’s going to whoop up on EVERYBODY.

New York Jets 20, Baltimore Ravens 18

I think this will be one of the only games the Ravens lose this year.  Home field is huge for the Jets in this one.  Might be better than opening night.

I’ve said this before, but be on injury watch these first three weeks.  Usually in years where a lot of the aging quarterbacks get injured, you see some of the new talent really start the next wave of QBs in the NFL.  So if a Tom Brady, a Peyton Manning, or a Brett Favre DID go down this year, it would likely follow suit that the Super Bowl would be won by someone like Aaron Rodgers or Tony Romo.

And don’t fall in love with some of these teams so fast this year either.  If either Atlanta or Denver start 4-0, let’s all agree to not shit our pants until they beat anybody of note.

Thanks again for visiting First Order Historians and enjoying some of the internet’s finest in user generated content.

Meehan